HAPPY 2006 WOO. Or the rest of 2005 if you're living in the past still. With your crazy backwards timezone. Anyway, I was watching Batman and Robin a while ago, when hitting upon the fact that not only is it the most terrible movie in recent memory, the casting of Arnie as a scientist is like the least convincing thing ever. Talking this over with my cousin and his friend, we theorised that he would, like, punch the blackboard until it confessed the secrets of the universe. And maybe punch some beakers and shit too. So here you go. It's a lot better if you read all of the lines in an Arnie voice. I was going to do it phonetically, but it made it a bit less readable. Here's the original arnified dialogue, for all you players at home:

Panel 1

Ownlee mai maitee mussels haff de sciencing necussaree to help me fayind de cyure to lit-tel Johnny's AIDS

Panel 2

BAH, Dis pyoony formyoolah is STILL no good.

It is a WEAK GIRLEE FORMYOOLAH

Panel 3

Mai hoolking scienteefic mussels are still no match for de AIDS! Eet is too strong!

Eef I ahm to save lit-tel Johnny, I must heet de books!

It's a reesk I have to take!

Panel 4

Insert a scream from Total Recall. You know which one

THAT'S EET. It's so simpul!

Whee! Just like acting lessons. Okay, as mentioned on the sightings page recently, Phiip has been translating the strips into french, which you can now view starting here! And for new years fun, the forum is now open for business again with a fresh start, after getting rid of the jerkholes and their threads and putting some rules in place. Just like the IRC channel, really. So feel free to join if you think you can fit in without being a jerk! You know who you are. Today's bizarre linkage isn't so much bizarre as totally goddamn awesome: Songs to wear pants to. I have had his cover of Experimental Film on loop for a solid hour. I am not kidding.