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298: You know that someone would buy this
You know that someone would buy this

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So long, and thanks for all the fish
Riiiight. See, I had written down in my notebook "Make fun of beyblades" and this is what I get. Battling flowers. This is probably a testament to my inability to focus for like two minutes. And there was additionally gonna be another panel or two in which a boss guy says "you're fired" to the employee. Hilarious. In case you're wondering how it works, the two Flowermastas battle over various flower harming arenas, such as a big ol suction fan, and see whose warriormon have the strongest lifepetals! If you want that in english, it's a contest to see whose flower loses petals slowest. It sounds really simple but let's be honest, there's a top rating show where these idiots throw tops at each other, and it's onto its second (or is it third?) season. Seriously though, I could understand pokemon, but BEYBLADES? C'mon! THEY'RE FREAKIN TOPS! With pokemon you've gotta learn strategy and to know what kinds of pokemon are stronger against other kinds. With beyblades you BATTLE TOPS. And by battle I mean you let go of them and hope they go towards each other. But the tv show! Oh sweet crap the tv show. I really hope these guys aren't serious or anything about their jobs because it's a pretty sad deal otherwise. Here's how it all breaks down:

1) Sassy guy speaks some sass. There'll be some form of vaudeville slapstick humour involved. He might fall down or eat a really hot chilli and this is supposed to be super funny
2) MANGA SPEED LINES
3) Opponent guy uses superior sassing abilities on sassy guy. He'll also talk with his eyes closed and sometimes not even facing him. That's how much sass he wields
4) Sassy guy twists his cap around and becomes SUPER MEGA BEYBLADE MASTER SPIN GUY MASTER
5) MORE SPEED LINES
6) FREAKIN SPARKS as the two beyblades(tm)(c)(r) BATTLE EACH OTHER TO THE THROWERS' COMMANDS. Extra speed lines here for effect, and lots of photoshop filters.
7) I SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD for watching such utter ROT.

C'mon! They're GODDAMN TOPS! You can't control them! There's no strategy! You don't pit water types against fire types! You FREAKIN SPIN THEM. THAT'S IT. If yours spins faster when it hits the other guys' top, then YOU'VE WON. They don't follow your commands and weave through obstacles! THEY SPIN! ARHGGHSGBBLRHGH. And what's the deal with the main guy on beyblades? Was I the only one to think that the pokemon show had somehow had a bastard son? They've both got the same caps, stupid gloves and if memory serves the same clothes. Does wearing a hat BACKWARDS magically make you win? Is that the secret to these games? You've gotta do everything like 1980s america? Shit! Where's my leg warmers, I'm gonna catch some rhinos!! Beyblades is pretty bad, but if I see a show about yoyos or hula hoops or whatever is due for a resurface in popularity I'm gonna freakin lose it. Feel vocal on the subject? Then why not pay the forum a visit? It's free! Well, I'd better wrap this up as I've got an assignment worth 40% of my mark due tomorrow and it's still not finished. Why not give some sexalicious votes for all the uni-failing I'm doing for you all, as well as the fact that twc was down half of yesterday and we kinda got boned. Bizarre Linkage. Infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters? Well GO AHEAD. SIMULATE my....monkey.....day?
Bigger Than Cheeses

 
IRC log humour at irc.sorcery.net #btc. (For IRC, we recommend mIRC)
[12:54] <WineGlass> i heard they are removing the word gullible from the dictionary
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