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285: GODDAMN AI
GODDAMN AI

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So long, and thanks for all the fish
IDIOTS. I call for backup for HALF A FUCKING HOUR while I hold the base closest to the axis troops (read: wave after wave of tanks) and the best I get is when 1 teammate spawned about 20 minutes in, who then runs off immediately without helping me. Fuckers. It's like playing online, without all the bothersome lag! The midway map is a prime example of why I hate my "team"mates. You need to take a total of two points to win, right? After taking a landing craft from the carrier I take the Airfield AND the coastal defence points. I issued the "guard this point" command at the airfield to the seven teammates who were nearby. I hold one point and they hold another. Simple, right? They just have to stand there. Think again. After sinking the japanese battleship using the coastal defence gun (takes something like 10 minutes with very slow reloading and having to pop out every 3 shots to repair the gun, since I keep getting bombed) I notice on the map that I can't see ANY of my teammates at the other point. In fact the other point has gone back to neutral and by the time I make it there I'm greeted by the Japanese troops in a tank. After taking out 2 of the assault troops with my shitty engineer gun and laying a landmine just as the tank gets me, I see on the global map that there are 3 planes JUST CIRCLING. 3 of MY planes. JUST GODDAMN CIRCLING. They circled the ENTIRE FUCKING GAME. I shit you not. They were circling around in the middle of the ocean where there was no possibility they could have been any use. I shot one of the fuckers down just to test, and he respawned, took another plane and was back circling. If the plane wasn't there, he'd run around the area where the plane was until another one spawned. WHAT THE FUCK! When I call for BACKUP that means BACK ME UP you COCKTARDS. Backing me up doesn't include dropping bombs ON YOUR OWN TEAM, either! Shoot down those fucking fighters for once! On another map (Gazala I think) we're up against tanks. Since I'm always on the frontline (the fuckers hang back until there are no enemies left) I use the radio command to call out what I've spotted (enemy armour (tanks), infantry, planes, etc). Fat lot of good THAT does. I might as well be shouting PIRATE BOOTAY since they never do anything about it. And don't even try asking for anti-tank support, because you've got a better chance of curing cancer while winning the lottery as you travel through time. And if you see any of your troops up against a tank who isn't already anti-tank, STAY THE FUCK AWAY. The morons don't know how to throw grenades...or they DO and they just like blowing themselves up. I think they've probably killed themselves more times than they've killed enemy troops. I've had to win world war 2 by MYSELF four times over. Meanwhile while my dipshit allies are running around in circles waiting for a vehicle to spawn, they're either shooting me in the back or running into the Axis' bullets. And I don't think this is a bug either, because I've watched the enemy troops through the binoculars as a scout, and they're EFFICIENT KILLING MACHINES. I've been hit so many times by artillery on the OTHER SIDE OF THE MAP without a scout anywhere in sight. They're aiming blindly and WIPING US OUT. What the fuck is up with that!?...This is battlefield 1942, by the way. I probably should've mentioned that at some point. Aaanyway, I think that's enough ranting from me. Updates are back to Monday and Friday. I have to get up early most of the week, so no midweek updates. But that won't stop you from voting, will it? Fine then. Then here's the obligatory forum link and bizarre linkage

Well, that's the pre-typed portion of the newpost. Now for more recent news; Firstly, major props to Lit for featuring us in a little guest comic in her supercon storyline. If you haven't had a chance to read the Tao of Geek, why not start now? Go, before I hit you. Also, a re-redesign. Hopefully should work for 800x600 now. Thanks to King-of-Storms for the heads up.

Bigger Than Cheeses

 
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