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254: Censor my ass
Censor my ass

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So long, and thanks for all the fish
RRRRGHGHGHHGGHHHH. STUPID censorship! Why must you suck so badly! This nonsensical strip is a tribute to channel 9 (Australia), who decided it would be in everyone's best interests to censor Smallville (You know, the tv show about superman as a teenager). Not just regular cutting out tits and ass censoring, nooooooo, they decide to entirely cut out IMPORTANT PLOT POINTS. That's right, they're just gone. Completely. The latest episode featured a bullet being fired at lex luthor, clark melting it with his heat vision, then the villain (villainess? Do women need their own noun here? Is it noun or adjective?) grabs something off the table. WHAM. One sloppily edited job later, the woman is on the floor and lex luthor is on fire. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE?! You don't just CUT OUT THE FUCKING ENDING YOU MORONS. A few minutes later, someone remarks that "she'll never be a trouble again". HOW is she never going to be trouble again? Before the butchering of the episode, she could command people to do her whim just by BREATHING ON THEM. Did he kill her? Did he somehow magically UNPOWER her? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED DAMN YOU?! In another episode from last year, lex luthor shot an uzi at clark while under the influence of some sort of mind drug dealie. Cgi matrixesque bulletshow ensues, and clark gets hit by a number of bullets. But what was ACTUALLY screened was, oh, NOTHING AT ALL. Yeah, they cut the scene, so at the end of the episode, Clark has bruises all over his body and his mother is going "I can't believe each bruise is where a bullet hit". Exsqueeze me? What? Bullets? Yeah, that's what I was thinking until I jumped on the interweb and read the synopsis and discovered not only was an important scene cut, but it was actually the ACTION scene. Not just the action scene, but the action scene where clark fixes everything, and the mystery of the episode is finally explained. Way to go. Just remove the climax of the episode. What's the point of even watching if you fuckers are just going to cut out the most important part? What if you screened some of those court movies you're so fond of and just cut out the verdict at the end? Because THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING YOU MORONS. You're surgically removing the sense! We can TELL you're cutting it too! Why else would the music suddenly jump like that? Why else whenever there's a fistfight do we see no actual fistfighting at all, only someone suddenly on the floor? This is tame shit you're censoring. Come ON! It's made for PRIME TIME by AMERICANS! Do you have any idea how crappily censored it already is!? It's not like there's children who are actually going to be dodging uzis or melting shit with their eyes anyway, so why do you insist on ruining my viewing enjoyment?! Now whenever I watch an episode I have to ALSO have a synopsis ready so I can read the important part that you fuckers cut out. Someday I'll find out who you are and start removing parts of your anatomy without any explaination and see how YOU like it! Damn network editors! ARRGH. Anyway, rant too long. Panels 3 and 4 were as random as possible to demonstrate the cut effect, which although isn't as noticable in comic form, is still pretty fucking stupid. I updated the cast images, and there's two new thingummies in the random art section. The forum is pretty damn lively lately. So lively that now whenever I come back to it there's two pages of new posts. Per thread. So maximum props to Changer of Ways, Chebbs, Evil Ceiling Fan, Fluffy-Phil, Kuro-Chan, Ragnarok Inc, Razer and TehFreak. That's sorted alphabetically, so I'm not playing any favourites. And if I forgot anyone, I'm really sorry. Maybe you should post more so I could rememeber your nick off the top of my head. Also, TehFreak wanted another mention because he bought a shirt, so here you go. Whee. Ps; Don't ask him about the shirt, he won't get it for a few more weeks, but I hear we'll get a picture when he does. Anyway, it's time for me to sleep now because I think I have an exam in...uh....four hours. Don't forget to vote before you check out the Bizarre Linkage. Okay, that might not seem so bizarre at first, but look at this guy's credits! Optimus Prime! Ironhide! Ultra Magnus! And not just transformers! There's ducktales, voltron, dragon's lair, chip 'n dale, GI joe, the snorks, gremlins, knight rider, spiderman.....This guy IS the 80s!
Bigger Than Cheeses

 
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