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145: n00bs in the army
n00bs in the army

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So long, and thanks for all the fish
Hey hey! Another comic! This one concerns the every growing and exponentially irritating trend of whiny bitches in online games. There are literally millions of annoying cockmongers on the internet who will not only use any means necessary to win, but will whine and bitch nonstop as soon as they've been hit. Never mind that it's a perfectly legitimate shot, but naturally NOBODY could have hit them because they're such leet hacksaws with panther like reflexes that bullets just bounce off their skin. I used to play Worms 2 online, and even a bit of Quake 3 (unfortunately not too much, due to dialup), but even then, these people would resort to cheap tactics (I think you CS people can think of a few dozen, just off the top of your heads), or super powerful unbalanced moves and just reuse them over and over and over and hope some dumb schmo will walk into it, or as is usually the case, they'll stab you in the back as you're actually playing against people who know how to play games properly. Jedi Knight 2, anyone? Don't you just love that backstab manouver? Yeah, I'll bet you do. Especially when people run into battles BACKWARDS in the hope of running into someone. Seriously, though. Show any smidgen of skill. Maybe, I don't know, BE ABLE TO HIT THINGS ON THE FIRST GO, and it's Wah wah wah, you hit me with a shotgun, you must be a shotgun whore. Wah wah wah. Now you've hit me with a guantlet, you gauntlet whore. Hey asshole, it's called a First Person Shooter, not First Person MAGICAL GODDAMN TEA PARTY. The point is to SHOOT people. I think PA summed it up best with this strip. What the hell do you idiots want? A goddamn tea party between the axis and allies? Well I've got news for you, buckos. This may seem hard for you to grasp, but PEOPLE ACTUALLY SHOOT EACH OTHER WITH GUNS. In war, they're actually expected to be able to hit things from 20 metres away. If someone is shot, they don't bitch and whine until they're blue in the face. They don't call them a "llama" or whatever new insult is fashionable in the retard circle nowadays, they FUCKING STAY DEAD BECAUSE YOU MADE SURE YOU COULD HIT SOMEONE WITHOUT NEEDING TO CHEAT. Okay....deep breaths........This is one reason why the American army shouldn't recruit gamers. If you can't trust people not to SHOOT THEIR OWN TEAMMATES, I don't think you should be handing over the keys to the armoury just yet. Maybe you could draft them as dummies for people who know how follow rules of engagement. Like NOT SHOOTING YOUR FUCKING TEAMMATES. I'm sure I've wandered far off topic and into other ones by now (I think I've gone from cheaters, to whiny bitches, then to those idiots who exploit a grossly overpowered weapon/attack (camping rail whores anyone?) and don't know how to use normal attacks, then to team killers and back to cheaters again) but idiocy just annoys me. Think I missed something? Your own thoughts on the subject? Leave them in the ad-free forum. You don't need to register to leave a message. Where was I? Ah yes. How was the last update's log humour? Longest. Log Humour. Evar. Still, it was all good fun. Check out today's bizarre linkage, Pets or Food. It's far too weird for me to accurately describe....but you can order animals for either pets or food. You can go from a puppy to a Komodo Dragon. Say, I wonder what a Komodo Dragon tastes like. Wasn't there a movie about that? Ah well. I'm out.
Bigger Than Cheeses

 
IRC log humour at irc.sorcery.net #btc. (For IRC, we recommend mIRC)
[16:07] <tate> I found out that Photoshop was tricking me into thinking it was broken, so I opened it up and lost some parts.
[16:07] <tate> well, I found out photoshop was tricking me AFTER losing the parts.
[16:07] <Goonigoogoo> that tricky Photoshop
[16:07] <sirdrunkenhobo> photoshop was... never mind
[16:08] <tate> Don't badmouth photoshop! It can hear you!!!
[16:08] <Goonigoogoo> It can? Shit
[16:09] <Beerman> it knows when you are sleeping!
[16:09] <Beerman> it knows when you're awake!
[16:09] <tate> It knows if you've been bad or good!
[16:09] * Beerman hides
[16:09] <sirdrunkenhobo> so its apervert is what you're saying
[16:09] <Goonigoogoo> heh
[16:09] <Beerman> yep
[16:09] <Beerman> god can see everything
[16:09] <tate> AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[16:09] <Beerman> which makes me a sinner and god a pervert
[16:09] <sirdrunkenhobo> like that santa fella... always having kids on his lap
[16:09] <tate> people should no better
[16:10] <Goonigoogoo> and coming down people's chimneys
[16:10] <sirdrunkenhobo> at least he only comes once a year
[16:10] <tate> unlike Catholic Priests
[16:10] <Beerman> thats why santa has such a big sack
[16:10] <Beerman> he only comes once a year
[16:10] <Beerman> and I apologise for making that joke
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